Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Nails in Comparison

At the bottom of the list of things I deem intimidating, tucked just below maltipoo puppies and Paula Deen, is the art of naming a nail salon. I'm no mathematician, but the equation seems fairly simple: take an adjective, add “Nails” as a suffix and call Emeril Lagasse 'cause—bam!— it’s time to invest in neon signage. Consider these metro Atlanta gems: Crystal Nails, Deluxe Nails, Dynamic Nails, Elegant Nails, Fancy Nails, Foxy Nails, Happy Nails (Avatar 3D glasses and child-size orange soda free with purchase), Magical Nails, Millennium Nails, Regal Nails, Solar Nails, Spontaneous Nails. Given the replicated context clues, even this liberal arts major can surmise that Adjective + Nails = Profit.

Sprinkled among the cluster of Adjective + Nails flagships are traces of creativity (Alpha Nails Salon, Blooming Nails), nonsense (Nailport Express, Victoria Nail Sup), apprehension (Nailtrap, Second Try), humor (Pamper My Peaches Nail Salon), confidence (Ten Perfect Nails), bluntness (Kim for Nails), vulgarity (Number 1 Nail, Number 2 Nail) and nightmarish grammar (Oh! La La La Nails, Poochiez Pawz Nail Studio). But even 99 Fashion Nails* pales in comparison to Panahar Bangladesh Cuisine. That’s right. Atlanta is home to the Georgia Aquarium, Turner Field, the World of Coke and the all-in-one Bangladesh-style restaurant/hair and nail salon that is Panahar Bangladesh Cuisine. Mani, pedi, pad thai? Check, please.

*Flynnsight suggested slogan: We’ve got 99 problems, but chipped paint ain’t one.

Say it ain’t so? Click here for a full list of nail salons in the greater Atlanta area.


  1. i've often wondered this as well. a year ago while not getting a pedicure at Fashion Nail, i found out only cash spoke the language for services under $25 so i opted to leave. perhaps higher end nailopolises should be creative with names AND put up signs that read "debit cards always welcome"? show me a French Tips "where American Fingers get the French treatment" and a visa logo and i will pull over immediately.

  2. This article is so true a name says a lot about any place and i often wonder do people think that when they do name a salon. I am in Cleveland and there is a braiding salon called Mary J. Braids..lol it tickels me everytime. I own a nail salon with american women where visa is accepted called Elite Nails. I hope the name speaks for its self.